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The Looks You Recieve
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November 18, 2011
2:53 pm
vampyremage
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Does anyone else get stared at because of their modifications?  If so, how do you take it?  Do you consider it a posative or a negative or more or less neutral?

 

Especially since getting my subdermal horns done, I definately do get stares when I go out.  More than that even, I sometimes get people asking to take pictures of them, because I suppose its not something people see every day.  My modifications have been a slow progression and with every one I get slightly more looks than the previous one. 

 

Mostly the stares don't bother me and, if anything, I mostly take them as a posative.  While I've done none of my modifications for the attention, I nevertheless like the attention, just a little bit.  I love the fact that I stick out in a crowd and that people notice that fact.  Even if I didn't, I think if you modify yourself visibly, it is best to go into the journey with the full understanding of the attention you are bound to recieve because of it and, of course, not all of that attention is go8ing to be posative.  I knew what I was getting into when I started so very little of the attention I recieve because of it bothers me.  I also know that I'm likely only to get more attention as my modificatations become increasingly more prominent and increasingly more visible.  If I was unable to make peace with that fact, I'm not sure that I would be able to get half of the modifications I have planned.

November 20, 2011
9:03 pm
astral_phoenix
Bel Air, Maryland
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I get stares but mostly questions and when people hear its for a spiritual reasonn they seem to let the judgement go. So I think its a mixed reaction. I get the evil glares I get the true curiousity. So it really is a toss up.

"People living deeply have no fear of death." – Anais Nin
November 20, 2011
9:22 pm
astral_phoenix
Bel Air, Maryland
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P.s I have also found that my modifications hinder my dating life.

"People living deeply have no fear of death." – Anais Nin
November 20, 2011
9:53 pm
vampyremage
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How so hinder your dating life?  I've never really noticed whether mine do or not.  I wouldn't ever consider dating someone who didn't appreciate modifications on some level, so perhaps that's why I haven't really noticed whether or not I have that problem.  In a round about way, I would even go so far as to say they have helped mine by weeding out those individuals who are likely to be judgemental asses who I wouldn't want to associate with anyway. 

 

With that said, I did have one relationship end, in part, because of my growing amount of modifications. We had gotten together when I was only just starting my journey and as time progressed, I grew in one direction and he grew in another.  One of the things that divided us was my growing love of body modification and his inability to completely accept it.

November 21, 2011
11:55 am
astral_phoenix
Bel Air, Maryland
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Where I live people just seem to be very closed minded. It will be better when I move to Dallas. People around here are really judgemental when you try to get close to them.

"People living deeply have no fear of death." – Anais Nin
November 21, 2011
6:13 pm
vampyremage
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That's unfortunate and I hope you have better luck once you move.  I guess I'm fortunate to live in a city that's pretty open minded in general.  Vancouver is pretty socially liberal, filled with all sorts of interesting people.  Of course there are still those who judge, but there are plenty that don't and plenty that are pushing social boundaries in their own ways as well.

November 22, 2011
4:33 pm
Oakbear
UK
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My wife assure me i get a lot more looks than i notice!

I'd be quite happy not getting any, but i take them positively, and on some level it validates my sense of individuality. I don't want to be like anyone else, and such reactions are a recognition that i am not viewed that way. I know looking to others for validation is rather shallow, but as social creatures i think it's pretty ingrained!

I also find that such looks are wonderful windows into people, a raw reaction which is something shared between us (when i notice :p), and is a reflection of that person, a privileged glimpse into their reality.

Everything from the admiring glances of of the modified or those who wish they were brave enough, through curiosity of a child,  to the look of horror as someone suddenly sees me is a beautiful part of people being people. Whatever reaction i get i am at pains to be polite and courteous, to hopefully let my reality into theirs for that brief time, and maybe change something.

 

I know how i look may limit certain opportunities, relationships etc, but i am glad of that fact. I have no desire to try to be anything but myself, and don't want to spend time with those who would not be willing to at least get to know me, or consider my outward appearance more important.

A rather impolite way (but amusing) way of viewing my visible modifications is it serves as quite an effective idiot filter!

 

Interestingly i have been dressing quite smartly recently (tweed jacket, formal shirt, smart shoes, moleskin trousers etc), as i needed new winter clothes, and thought i'd try it for once! (I'm not a teenager any more, so thought i'll venture into the world of the grown up!).

I noticed many more reactions to my appearance, but my wife says it was about the same. I think it was because i was a little out of my comfort zone. Now i've been smarter for a month or so, i can't tell the difference, and my new attire has become a natural part of me.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Nietzsche
November 22, 2011
10:41 pm
vampyremage
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I tend to be the same way in regards to not noticing when people are giving me looks much of the time.  When I'm with people, especially my roommate, often they will have to point out when people are staring because I would be completely oblivious otherwise. 

 

Do you think such obliviousness simply has to do with the fact that you get used to the looks and simply don't notice them any longer?  Intuitively that seems like it might be the case, although I have been pretty oblivious in general about many different things, so I think that may only be partially true in my case.

November 23, 2011
2:32 am
Oakbear
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I think if you are comfortable in yourself you aren't looking to see who's looking. Combined with being used to staring, others might notice it, but the subject is happily oblivious!

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Nietzsche
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