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SEPARATE feelings in the SAME world.
Topic Rating: +7 (7 votes) 
June 28, 2012
12:08 pm
Sommersett
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Seems to me that feeling separate and alone because of your mods is just another form of segregation.  We are all part of the same compost heap.  The fact that I have visible mods doesn't make me better or worse than my neighbor.  Mainstream POP culture or "beautiful" people adopting a "Mod lifestyle" seems like a natural progression to me in a cookie cutter society.  I guess my point is to feel the natural (and supernatural) resonance of living as you want to is what I choose to perpetuate.  I am here for you…. being patient and silly and lovely (just like you) and I am just another speck of dust.  Is that crazy?

 

What is your purpose for living a "Mod Lifestyle" when shutting the fuck up and keeping your head down and "fitting in" would be easier in our society?

Everyone has something to say about the Mona Lisa until you're standing in front of it speechless.
June 28, 2012
12:17 pm
vampyremage
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I have felt separate from the mainstream world long before I started modding myself and to feel as a part of it isn't something that is an ideal for me.  I am who I am, complete with many things that separate myself from the mainstream world around me and I wouldn't change any of it in order to achieve some sort of ideal of belonging.  Why should I bother to belong?

 

When it comes to interacting with those in my circle, I always try to do so with respect and understanding, but I'm never going to be a part of that and I never desire to be a part of that.  Many things that are considered more traditional values, ideals and aspirations simply don't make much sense for me, on a personal level.  Combine my lack of understanding for traditional ideals with the fact that what ideals I do have tend towards the very non-traditional, and its really no wonder that I've never felt a part of the society I live in.

 

Why do I live the 'Mod Lifestyle'?  I'm not sure that I do and I suppose it might depend on what the 'Mod Lifestyle' really is.  Do I modify myself and will I continue to modify myself for many years to come?  Absolutely that is a yes.  But does that mean I live a particular lifestyle because of it?  I don't think so.  I am more likely to say I live a gamer (tabletop or LARP) lifestyle than that I live a Mod Lifestyle because that factors far more into my day to day life and the sorts of people I choose to associate with. 

 

For me, to modify isn't about a lifestyle, its about who I am on the inside being reflected on the outside.  No matter what lifestyle I chose to live, I would still feel as I feel on the inside and body modification allows me to express that.  When I hear the term Mod Lifestyle, I think of those who are really involved in the body modification community and especially those who are body modification practitioners.  I do not fall under either of these categories, not for any dislike of those who are involved in the body modification community, but simply because those individuals have never been in my close social circle.  I surround myself with understanding and accepting people, but not necessarily people who modify themselves.

June 28, 2012
12:29 pm
Sommersett
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By Mod Lifestyle, I mean you have visible mods.  I think I am suppose to look this way and that's why I do it.  I can create deeper meaning, but I'd just be waxing poetic.  However, I will admit, I am more attracted to people with mods than without when choosing people to associate with.  Rude, huh.

Everyone has something to say about the Mona Lisa until you're standing in front of it speechless.
June 28, 2012
2:06 pm
Kevin_cook
Colorado
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I read this thread and got to thinking … I dont live any lifestyle other than my own

I was introduced to Dr Wayne Dyer's … "How to be a no limit person" many years ago and although it has some good ideas … I have not adopted it in toto

 

I can say that I find labels like lifestyle … gay … straight … modded … mundane … gamer to be too limiting of who i am …

Has anyone ever had trouble answering replying to the request when amongst a group of people (strangers or not) … "Tell us about yourself"? … This is the same problem I have with labels … << How much time do you have to listen to my story? >>

Now … back to the Separate issue … are we all not separate? (I believe that there was a Rush song about that) … we can interact with each others .. come into each others orbits … but even conformists are separate as not even identical twins can walk the same life path

So my 2 cents are … just learn to revel in being separate :)

- Kevin Cook Proudly modified since 1983
June 28, 2012
3:17 pm
vampyremage
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I love the idea of learning to revel in being separate.  That is something I feel I've been doing for some time now.  Is life sometimes more difficult than it otherwise might be given the path I've chosen in life?  Certainly.  However, its also the life I want to be living and some of those trials of a more difficult path make things all the more interesting and fulfilling in the end.  I can say, with complete honesty, that I've remained true to myself and my personal ideals and I know I couldn't say that if I travelled the easier path that would allow me to feel more belonging to society at large.

June 28, 2012
3:59 pm
SasQuatch9585
USA
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Sommersett said

What is your purpose for living a "Mod Lifestyle" when shutting the fuck up and keeping your head down and "fitting in" would be easier in our society?

I too have always felt separate.  As a kid I was made fun of, and because I followed the advice of Jesus, I didn't fight back so they kept it up.  I was living and feeling separate long before my first mods.

By the time I was in Junior High I decided that I didn't give a damn what others thought of me because I knew the truth of who I was and anyone who didn't care enough to ask me about it instead of making assumptions about it could go to hell.

I've become less go-to-hell in my attitude toward others who don't understand, but I never felt comfortable in the role my parents wanted me to play.  I never liked the clothes I had to wear on Sundays.  I never wanted to fit in because it seemed to me that those who fit in are a bunch of dicks.  Seems to me that fitting in means, in part, pressuring others to fit in and ridiculing those who don't.  It also means accepting what is given to you without analysis, opinion, or objection, and that's just unscientific.

My purpose is to live the way I feel most comfortable or die trying.  A life of conformity is a life unfulfilled, and so, is not worth living.  Simple survival is not enough.

Sometimes I wonder if I can say anything in less than a hundred words.
June 28, 2012
6:59 pm
Kevin_cook
Colorado
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When my mom asks me "Why do you have to be so different?" … I tell her that it was her devotion to Robtert Frost that set an early standard for me

 

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;         5
 
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,         10
 
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.         15
 
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Kevin Cook Proudly modified since 1983
June 28, 2012
7:15 pm
Sommersett
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Survival is enough for some people.  1 inch plugs are not on the top of your list if you struggle to eat.  We are all so fortunate to have more than enough and live a modded lifestyle…. yup, lifestyle.  Language and expression can be a confine in and of itself…. one of the many reasons I'm glad to feel things.

I've never met a major CEO with big mods before and I think everyone following this thread so far has experienced some "more than average" modification.  It seems like mods and the potential to make money in this country do not walk hand in hand.  I feel like there is some sort of wisdom (for lack of a better word) imparted in me because I choose to look and act the way I do.  However, many people still seem freaked out by me just being near them.  Alas, separate in the same space.  I like to think of it as protection for me against them sometimes. 

Everyone has something to say about the Mona Lisa until you're standing in front of it speechless.
September 19, 2012
11:27 pm
ChrisBigunDouglass
Corpus Christi TX
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Initially I tattooed my face outside of the "norm" to try to help to make it the "norm". Now I wear them as a form of war paint I guess. A symbol of my hatred for judgmental society. I used to have pity for them. I dont know what happened to that.  

September 20, 2012
2:51 am
Oakbear
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Modification are integrally connected to how i have explored myself and through that the world, spiritually. That's why it's so important to me.

 

One of the core things i have learned is that everyone is at the same time unique and the same, a part of the inseparable whole. It is something which fills me with joy and gives me strength.

 

When modifications are linked to hate and separation, both of which i strongly feel are self destructive, it makes me feel sad.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Nietzsche
September 20, 2012
1:25 pm
vampyremage
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My modifications are a projection of my feeling of 'otherness' that I have experienced all my life.  To have my external self match my internal self, which is one of the ways in which I look at my modifications, is to embrace and project that feeling of being other.  I have never felt belonging in the society in which I live and, while that used to bother me when I was younger, my life became so much more fulfilling when I chose instead to embrace that feeling.  I do not feel as if I belong in this world in this culture but I'm here anyway so I may as well make the best of it.  In the end, why should I be anything outside of who I am and why should I strive to belong to a culture which feels as ill fitting as it does? 

September 20, 2012
1:58 pm
Oakbear
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Maybe i didn't word that well.

Don't get me wrong, i do also feel a strong separation from the culture in which i live, and likewise have never 'fitted in'. Even in non-mainstream cultures and groups i feel the odd one out.

Modifications allow me to accept being me, and not having to conform or belong.

I suppose i feel there is a difference between accepting difference, and hostility towards a mainstream 'other', which i sometimes feel from modified people.

I can understand feeling bitter about rejection, lack of tolerance or understanding , but i don't think making the same mistake people in the 'mainstream' may make is the way forward.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Nietzsche
September 20, 2012
3:00 pm
vampyremage
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I do feel some hostility towards certain things in mainstream culture but I think that's different from saying I feel hostility towards mainstream culture.  It is actions and beliefs that dictate whether or not one should be respected or disparaged, not whether or not one is mainstream or not.  There are also better and worse ways of dealing with those attitudes and actions that one does feel hostility towards.

 

For example, I personally find respect of one's personal choices to be extremely important, be it the choice to modify or not, indulge in substances or not, ect.  There are many, however, who do not share such respect and that is never an attitude that I will be able to get behind or support.  To try to educate and set a positive example of those of us who are visibly different or outwardly part of what might be considered a subculture is a very different way of approaching such a vast disagreement in philosophy as opposed to bashing and insulting those who might choose to bash and insult us. 

 

Respect has to go both ways and my default when interacting with others, always, is one of respect.  When respect isn't shown in return, however, that's when things get complicated.  Because I have respect for myself and the way in which I present myself, the ways in which I deal with a lack of respect are going to be such that I can still look at myself and know I was true to my beliefs and what I want to present to others. That is different, however, than embracing those who engage in actions that I consider to be personally immoral and unjustifiable.  I stand apart but with a bridge to the outside world but a bridge that needs a certain level of conduct in which to fully cross.

September 20, 2012
4:30 pm
Mufasa
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Wow I luv this thread, I have heard great voices and I like the way Kevin put it, you live your own lifestyle. We are all people, and maybe one day everyone will treat people based on the person you are, and not on stereotypes, or outward looks.

 

All I can think of is to go out into all the people and communicate with everyone and have no preconceived notions from your perspective first. We can't expect people to start accepting us until we can do the same from our end.,

September 26, 2012
1:41 am
amber visions
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I think I chose to mod because I never felt whole or complete in this body. I love to paint and draw and create… I saw myself as a blank canvas and I wasnt happy with it. I always knew Id have tattoos even when I was younger. I felt better about this human suit when I had doodles or fake tattoos on me as a child. When I grew up and found different ways of thinking and realizing we're all just star dust and we are all just interconnected on the same web, it seemed silly to me to try to accommodate others perceptions on how I SHOULD look. this is my human suit and im going to feel comfortable in it while i have it.

September 26, 2012
3:06 pm
KristenAtkinson0
South Korea
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As much hostility as I feel towards certain things in the mainstream culture, I get the same towards the modified culture. People are people, and I pretty much dislike all of them equally. Modified people judge each other just as much as the non-modded towards modded people. Perhaps you don't have large enough earlobes, perhaps you don't have sleeves which means you're not modded at all, perhaps you don't have a bunch of piercings in your face so you obviously don't know what it's like to be heavily modded, etc.

I've heard plenty of this shit over the years. As much as I feel separate from the mainstream, I feel the same separation in the modified culture as well. I fit in as well as I can by being myself, and I think that's all I can do. Otherwise I'm just trying to please other people, and I don't want to live my life like that.

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