I have felt separate from the mainstream world long before I started modding myself and to feel as a part of it isn’t something that is an ideal for me.  I am who I am, complete with many things that separate myself from the mainstream world around me and I wouldn’t change any of it in order to achieve some sort of ideal of belonging.  Why should I bother to belong?

When it comes to interacting with those in my circle, I always try to do so with respect and understanding, but I’m never going to be a part of that and I never desire to be a part of that.  Many things that are considered more traditional values, ideals and aspirations simply don’t make much sense for me, on a personal level.  Combine my lack of understanding for traditional ideals with the fact that what ideals I do have tend towards the very non-traditional, and its really no wonder that I’ve never felt a part of the society I live in.

Why do I live the ‘Mod Lifestyle’?  I’m not sure that I do and I suppose it might depend on what the ‘Mod Lifestyle’ really is.  Do I modify myself and will I continue to modify myself for many years to come?  Absolutely that is a yes.  But does that mean I live a particular lifestyle because of it?  I don’t think so.  I am more likely to say I live a gamer (tabletop or LARP) lifestyle than that I live a Mod Lifestyle because that factors far more into my day to day life and the sorts of people I choose to associate with. 

For me, to modify isn’t about a lifestyle, its about who I am on the inside being reflected on the outside.  No matter what lifestyle I chose to live, I would still feel as I feel on the inside and body modification allows me to express that.  When I hear the term Mod Lifestyle, I think of those who are really involved in the body modification community and especially those who are body modification practitioners.  I do not fall under either of these categories, not for any dislike of those who are involved in the body modification community, but simply because those individuals have never been in my close social circle.  I surround myself with understanding and accepting people, but not necessarily people who modify themselves.

Sommersett said

What is your purpose for living a “Mod Lifestyle” when shutting the fuck up and keeping your head down and “fitting in” would be easier in our society?

I too have always felt separate.  As a kid I was made fun of, and because I followed the advice of Jesus, I didn’t fight back so they kept it up.  I was living and feeling separate long before my first mods.

By the time I was in Junior High I decided that I didn’t give a damn what others thought of me because I knew the truth of who I was and anyone who didn’t care enough to ask me about it instead of making assumptions about it could go to hell.

I’ve become less go-to-hell in my attitude toward others who don’t understand, but I never felt comfortable in the role my parents wanted me to play.  I never liked the clothes I had to wear on Sundays.  I never wanted to fit in because it seemed to me that those who fit in are a bunch of dicks.  Seems to me that fitting in means, in part, pressuring others to fit in and ridiculing those who don’t.  It also means accepting what is given to you without analysis, opinion, or objection, and that’s just unscientific.

My purpose is to live the way I feel most comfortable or die trying.  A life of conformity is a life unfulfilled, and so, is not worth living.  Simple survival is not enough.

As much hostility as I feel towards certain things in the mainstream culture, I get the same towards the modified culture. People are people, and I pretty much dislike all of them equally. Modified people judge each other just as much as the non-modded towards modded people. Perhaps you don’t have large enough earlobes, perhaps you don’t have sleeves which means you’re not modded at all, perhaps you don’t have a bunch of piercings in your face so you obviously don’t know what it’s like to be heavily modded, etc.

I’ve heard plenty of this shit over the years. As much as I feel separate from the mainstream, I feel the same separation in the modified culture as well. I fit in as well as I can by being myself, and I think that’s all I can do. Otherwise I’m just trying to please other people, and I don’t want to live my life like that.