There’s no need for sarcasm, especially as i feel those trying to help you are likely to have much more experience. I can’t vouch for all the videos you’ve seen, but i know there is a wide range of advice out there, some of it good, some terrible.
My lobes are 2″ and healthy, as they have been for around 3 years now. It took me years to get them that way.
I’m not saying never use tapers, but equally it is not necessarily the best method.
The key is slow. People who mess their ears up almost invariably went too fast, even if they claim otherwise.
Tapers can run the risk of making faster or larger stretches obtainable, even feeling ok, but causing trauma. That can lead people to stretch too fast.
Simply waiting and testing the next size for small jumps, say from 2.4-3.2mm, or 3.2 to 4mm is probably safer if you are inexperienced. If you try the next size with no force and it doesn’t fit, wait. It’s much easier to force a fistula out with a taper and not realise. A 10mm taper is too big to be using on lobes. People sell them because they make money.
Often tapers are poor quality or badly shaped and can taper too fast. If you’re sure of what shape they should be, how to clean them, and how to rate taper quality (not just labelled 316l) then great, if not then you run the risk of causing problems.
Problems with dead stretching occur when people get impatient, force it or use inappropriate jewelry. If it is done correctly in sensible jumps there’s no problem.
So in essence either way is fine by me, IF you do it right, and GO SLOW!