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New member, already dealing with criticism. Suggestions?
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October 2, 2011
7:00 pm
Ascetic Athlete
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Hi all, 

     I just received my acceptance email and of course the criticism has already began. Any suggestions on what information to relay about the CoBM when receiving criticism from people with different beliefs?

 

Thanks, 

Corey

"Body modifications say a lot about ourselves, it says even more about those who surround us"
October 3, 2011
3:25 am
Oakbear
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I suppose it really depends on what is being critiscised and by whom.

I would imagine that for the majority who take the step to join the Church their beliefs are unchanged by that step, it is simply that their prior views chime with the COBM views. Is it your previous views being critiscised or the fact you chose to join a group?

Aside from that i find understanding, tolerence and patience towards those who react in a negative manner is often the best course. So often prejudice is rooted in fear or ignorance, and thus we can educate and demonstrate that these fears are not rational.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Nietzsche
October 3, 2011
5:55 pm
gaugingbeauty
somewhere in middle america
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Dear Corey,

 

first off, welcome!!!

 

secondly, criticism? from who? is it the opinion of someone that you value? I don't know why, but the very second you mention "church" and it isn't the majority recognized, people get their panties in a bunch. acceptance of anything new is generally met with criticism, because of the unfamiliarity of it.

without being argumentative, it is going to be a bit of a challenge, as religion and politics always start with a tiff. I would be patient, and flip the script. listen to what they have to say, and ask them what freaks them out about it. being a new member, I am sure that you have a lot of questions, I still have things I'm learning about, but know your basics, and above all, stand your ground. I think that if you can assure them that you aren't going to eat babies, take a ritualistic dump on their bible, or practice self immolation, they'll quiet down. your objective is to inform, while theirs is to question.

 

find out their questions. if anything, you can always come back on here, and we will help!

 

good luck, man.

gb.

October 3, 2011
8:28 pm
Ascetic Athlete
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Yes the criticism is coming from my fiance. I guess for some reason she never realized that my personal beliefs didnt match up with christianity today. She said she doesnt know if she wants to marry me and have kids now or not because she doesnt want to raise kids with someone who isnt christian. I explained to her that I do believe in a God, a higher power, but do not neccesarily believe in a religion in which there are over 20 different translations of the Bible and probably even more denominations that all have broken away from each other over political differences.

"Body modifications say a lot about ourselves, it says even more about those who surround us"
October 4, 2011
4:32 am
astral_phoenix
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My tiny piece to make peace. She knew who you were when she said she loved you. You both have made it through the trials and tribulations of getting engaged. My advice is offer her the education we have here and be patient, she more than likely a little scared something came off her life plan track.

I have faith and wish you the best.

"People living deeply have no fear of death." – Anais Nin
October 4, 2011
1:54 pm
Oakbear
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Sorry corey i forgot my manners! Welcome!

It sounds like you and your fiancee have a lot of talking and thinking to do. I'd again advocate understanding and patience, but i suppose it is up to her what she is happy with for her. There are some things which are deal breakers for some people, kids, religion, careers etc. But try not to be too hurt by this. As mentioned she loves you, and who you are hasn't changed. Might be worth reminding her of that fact.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Nietzsche
October 5, 2011
6:48 pm
gaugingbeauty
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Dear Corey,

To be honest, if she doesn't see eye to eye with you concerning religion, it's time for a genuine heart to heart. I think it signifies that there aspects of your relationship that need strengthening, especially if you're planning a future with her. Not saying break up, I am saying that understanding and listening are in order. This is the sort thing that defines a person, it's not a weakness or a pariah.

Acceptance and tolerance demonstrate love. Keep trying, n good luck.

October 9, 2011
9:55 pm
Ascetic Athlete
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Thanks to all. Just as an update, we are doing better. She still isnt crazy about it but we have talked it over and she understands this whole thing a little better. 

"Body modifications say a lot about ourselves, it says even more about those who surround us"
October 10, 2011
3:23 pm
Oakbear
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That's really good to know Corey, i hope things continue to work out.Smile

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Nietzsche
October 10, 2011
9:45 pm
astral_phoenix
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I'm glad she is listening and there is a line of communication open!

"People living deeply have no fear of death." – Anais Nin
October 14, 2011
7:41 pm
gaugingbeauty
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Corey, that is good news! Keep it up. Glad to hear she at least listens. One step at a
time!
Cheers,
gb.

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