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HELP! Loved one with a bad tattoo.
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August 22, 2013
1:14 am
KitKat
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My husband got his first tattoo a few weeks ago and is going back tomorrow for the rest of it (filling in the center and lettering). The drawing the artist (at this point I'm using that term loosely) came up with looked great but when the tattoo was finished there were a LOT of problems, unsymmetrical points, uneven width between lines, wavy outline, ect. As of right now he has just the basic outline for a cross with just a little bit of color on his back so he can't see what's wrong with it. From what he sees in the mirror and pictures he really likes it. I don't want him to end up with more bad work but I also don't know how to tell him his tattoo is bad. I really need some advice on what to do.

August 22, 2013
10:55 am
Oakbear
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Hi KitKat, welcome to the forum!

I don't mean any offence, but do you have a lot of experience with tattoos? The only reason i ask is that sometimes people have unrealistic expectations as photos only show the best light, may be edited, unhealed etc. Some slight lack of symmetry or wavy lines are not unusual with average artists, or may even be due to the healing process. Having said that there ARE a lot of bad tattooists out there, and this highlight the importance of taking time to pick the right artist. If you are not sure you could ask another reputable artist, or post a pic here.

As for advice, it sounds like you've gently told him you have some concerns about the quality. The rest is up to him.
If he's happy, I'd let it be and learn to live with him having a tattoo you don't like. He likes it, and you love him, it's a little thing.
If he hears the advice and isn't sure, it can wait, or another better picked artist can correct and finish it.
Either way the important thing is clear compassionate communication. Say what you feel nicely, but be prepared that it's his call.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Nietzsche
August 22, 2013
1:19 pm
KitKat
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I have a half dozen tattoos myself and my oldest one is about 5 years old, newest one is less than a month. By unsymmetrical I mean half the point is curved and the other half is straight when they're both supposed to be curved. He also revealed 75% of the way through the tattoo that he battles with pretty severe arthritis and "Probably don't have much time left doing tattoos.". My husband doesn't seem to care about the quality he just wanted it done, when I told him about his points his response was "Whatever.". He has even agreed to lettering that is not the one he wants so it's easier on the artist.

August 23, 2013
3:04 am
Oakbear
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Sounds like it's bad!

Having said that, if you express your concerns, your husband is happy, and he's prepared that he's stuck with it, then you'll have to learn to accept it i think.

For some people the experience and the relationship with a modification is more important than the actual outcome. The compassion toward an artist, while arguably misguided in this case, makes for a potent symbolism.

Some of my tattoos have flaws, and i love them just the same.
I can appreciate very high quality work, portraits etc, but they are not for me. As long as an artist if at least of a solid basic standard (clean lines etc) the rapport with them is more important to me.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Nietzsche
August 23, 2013
11:05 am
KitKat
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He seems to be fine with it and (unlike him) I believe it's not my body so it's not my decision. I was hoping he would have a greater respect for modification after this but he still views it the same way, unnecessary and people mostly do it to piss someone off. He still claims he'll divorce me if I try a suspension. I find God through modification whereas he's an atheist who thinks I'm ridiculous for having faith or being spiritual.

August 27, 2013
5:08 am
Oakbear
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Oh, sounds tough. Confused
I've been there to an extent, and the only way it worked out was to keep talking and respect each others feelings, opinions, and right to decide for oneself. If it is worth fighting for, you can get there.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Nietzsche
August 27, 2013
5:10 am
Oakbear
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It's interesting that he seems a 'Rational' type, but objects to suspension. What are his reasons?

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Nietzsche
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