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Wake up, it's your life calling
Topic Rating: +2 (2 votes) 
July 27, 2012
9:14 am
KristenAtkinson0
South Korea
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I don't know if this belongs here or if anyone else would be interested at all, but I have to get this out and tell the world that I feel so great. I'm sure some have felt the universe tug at your arm and say, "Hey, here's your shot." I feel like that happening to me right now, and it's really strange to experience. For the first time in too long, I feel like I'm living life instead of coasting through it. And it all started with an infected tattoo from a hack "artist," and telling my boss to fuck off.

Since my tattoo got infected, I went to urgent care to see a doctor. Long story extremely short, I was prescribed antibiotics and steroids. This means I have to stay sober until the meds are done. This may not be that much of a challenge for most, but I'm beginning to realize that I've had more of a problem with drugs and alcohol than I'd like to admit. It was more than just social, it was/is my escape, my medication from the stresses of living, or even the boredom of it. But I digress, another story for another time.

Being sober has really made me wake up to things. First off being the condition of myself and my surroundings. My house is a mess, and since I can't run off and get trashed to escape it, I've been purging my house of junk I don't need. It feels awesome. I've been eating a lot healthier, which obviously makes you feel awesome, too. 

Before the soberness started, I told my boss to fuck off and quit my job. I didn't have anything concrete lined up to take its place, and still don't, but I feel like it was one of the best decisions I've made in a while. I may be unemployed, broke, and boring, but damn it- I'm happy. 

It is currently just after 8 am here in Missouri. I haven't slept yet from yesterday, and I just took an hour-long walk with my dog. I don't want to sleep because I'm afraid this feeling will vanish, somehow. I guess I can only wait and see, really. I just want to feel this awesome all the time! I want to share this awesomeness with everyone!

So, in closing, I hope you feel awesome today, because you really should. Whatever shit life is dealing you, take a breath to forget about it for at least one second, and rest in the fact that you, as yourself, by yourself, are awesome. Put your face to the sun and show everyone so.

July 27, 2012
11:08 am
Oakbear
UK
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Thanks for sharing, sounds like quite a ride!

I think we can all forget to actually live. To stop and listen and reflect.

Don't worry about losing it, it's always there. You just need to remember.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Nietzsche
July 27, 2012
6:08 pm
KristenAtkinson0
South Korea
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Thanks! Yeah, it's really important to remember to live, ironically enough.

July 27, 2012
8:44 pm
Sommersett
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I'm glad you have made a choice to nourish yourself.  Have you tried Bikram Yoga?  It is great to clean your lymph system.  It is done in 103 degrees. 

Everyone has something to say about the Mona Lisa until you're standing in front of it speechless.
July 27, 2012
8:59 pm
Breanne Redin
Bath, Maine
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It made me quite happy to read this – I'm presently battling a drinking problem, and can't wait to reach the point where I actually feel good about life again >_< But reading that makes me hopeful :) I'll just keep taking it one day at a time. Thank you for the lovely post!

July 28, 2012
3:01 pm
KristenAtkinson0
South Korea
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Sommersett, I live in the Midwest with no air conditioning in my house. My day-to-day is basically bikram yoga! haha

 

Breanne, keep up the good work, seriously. It's worth it. 

July 29, 2012
8:51 am
Sommersett
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You can find the mudras (body positions) on line and then do them in the heat of the day to facilitate your body's purge. 

I have several mantras (spoken words or sounds) I say in other languages… because I'm a weird-o like that… I believe in healing sounds and stuff like that.  I also have one in English and during tough times I have written it and hung it on my front door or my mirror.  It is:

I WILL FIND A WAY OR MAKE ONE

 

Have you had to loose friends along with your job and old lifestyle patterns?

Everyone has something to say about the Mona Lisa until you're standing in front of it speechless.
July 29, 2012
6:46 pm
KristenAtkinson0
South Korea
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I haven't lost many friends, and those I have lost were lost a while ago to either meth or bath salts. Since I refuse to see anyone go down that road, let alone go along with them, the decisions have to be made and bridges burned. Try to help, then let go.

Mot of my friends are somewhat supportive, for the moment. They keep telling me that I'm lame or no fun or whatever, but I really have no problem going to bars and hanging out with them, I'm just not drinking at the moment. And once they start getting drunk, I leave, because it has occurred to me that drunk people get really annoying. Going to bars actually makes me really grateful to be sober for a while. 

I like your mantra! I have a couple of notes around my house. I have one by the door that I see everyday before going out that reads "Make today a day that you are proud of." I have another on my desk which says "You said tomorrow yesterday." I find that these keep me on track for the most part, and help me stay positive. I'll have to try your suggestion for yoga poses! Any in particular that you really like? I'm not much of a yogi, but I have done yoga in the past. So I have some flexibility, but not a great amount. I have been exercising a lot lately, and it's great! I like to feel my body getting stronger and cleaner.

July 29, 2012
8:06 pm
Sommersett
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All the mudras in Bikram lead up to the final one which is a twisted up position and I always feel like I'm a washcloth being squeezed out.

I suggest kundalini yoga.  I think it's my favorite overall.  Look for a teacher with the last name of Khalsa.  That is a name a person can take when they ceremoniously cut their own head off with a sword and give it up to their higher spiritual being… their classes will be serious and beautiful and free of charge.  It is their duty and privilege to teach yoga.  You should give something, even a flower.  This is the same all over the world.   I'd check the community boards at your local cafe and health food store.

On the other end of the yoga spectrum is laughter yoga.  It's fun and the point is to laugh.  Good for healing the heart.  Classes should only be about $5, maybe free.

I do not like hatha as much as other styles, but hatha is also great. 

Try it and tell me what you think. 

Everyone has something to say about the Mona Lisa until you're standing in front of it speechless.
August 3, 2012
7:01 pm
strommer
Portland,OR
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I've been "clean" for 10 years now and think it was the best choice I've ever made it's not easy but keep up the good work Wink

August 6, 2012
8:18 pm
KristenAtkinson0
South Korea
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Thanks! I have faltered a few times already, but hopefully I can continue to keep my life within my control. 

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