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Kicked Out of My House
Topic Rating: +5 (5 votes) 
March 7, 2013
5:37 pm
Virginia Beach, VA
Forum Member
Forum Posts: 10
Member Since:
December 12, 2012

So, here's the rather irritating thing. I'm getting kicked out of my house because I'm getting a chest tattoo. The tattoo itself isn't even the problem, it's because I'm not getting it on my arm like my mother wants me to. She claims that, by having a chest tattoo, I will have problems with jobs and men. Really? Getting a chest tattoo would cause less trouble with jobs since it's easier to cover up than one on my arm. Especially at the place I'm working now, since we have short sleeves and they wouldn't cover the tattoo if I got it. Whereas, by having it on my chest, my button-up shirt would cover it, and it could technically be considered sexual harassment if someone were to call and complain about it. *sigh* She's so hypocritical about it, because she claims "there's nothing wrong with chest tattoos," yet she's kicking me out of the house for one? Gah, I'm so freaking confused and frustrated. Someone help? :/

Some people are born with tragedy in their souls.

March 8, 2013
4:43 am
Forum Posts: 886
Member Since:
January 7, 2011

That sounds like a terrible situation! My advice is to try and talk things through with your Mother in a patient understanding way. It sounds like she may be concerned about you, so encourage her to explain more fully, and be prepared to compromise. Try and remain calm and in control of your feelings (and maybe apologise if you have done or said things you maybe should not have due to how you were feeling), and to see things from her point of view. You don't have to agree though.
Your Mother is the only one you'll get, so try and invest in nurturing that relationship as best you can.

As it is her house she can dictate what you do to a degree, and thus you may have to decide which direction to take : Stay and wait for the tattoo or leave now and gain your freedom, with all the hardships that can entail. You will one day leave when things are right for you, so maybe that chest tattoo can wait until then, and instead start with some other work?

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Nietzsche
March 8, 2013
8:53 am
Forum Posts: 296
Member Since:
May 24, 2012

Draw it on with Sharpie marker (full color) first and see what kind of reaction you get. Remember, you and your Mother are learning TOGETHER and one day you will likely laugh about it all!!

I got my first mod on my 18th birthday and I was college. It was about a 5 hour drive from my Mom and of course she came to visit me. She totally freaked out, cried, and begged me to remove it. I did not remove it, but I did compromise with a retainer although I didn't really want to, and we both survived. At the time it was a big deal!!

Do you have a plan about where to go?

Everyone has something to say about the Mona Lisa until you're standing in front of it speechless.
March 12, 2013
5:09 pm
Muncie, IN
Forum Member
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
March 6, 2013

I'm sorry you're going through this. I remember when I came home with my first piercing at 17 (eyebrow). Dad walked into the house, saw my eyebrow, looked at me for about 4 seconds (didn't blink), and walked out. Heard the peel out, and he didn't talk to me for like a week. As far as jobs go, unless you're an adult dancer, I don't see where it would be a problem (even then I can't see how it would be). Now with men, unless that tattoo says, "If you can read this, I will remove your genitalia in your sleep", once again, no issue (actually wait that sounds fun, I want that now!)
Hopefully after a sit down, maybe she'll chill out a bit. Most parents after an incident like that, just give em a few to cool their heads, then take them out to do something, explaining why a chest tattoo would be more beneficial on your part with your job, (and future jobs for that matter).
I hope things improve with you and your mom, I would hate to see a parent discard their offspring all over something they're never gonna notice.

March 28, 2013
2:55 pm
Forum Posts: 271
Member Since:
July 12, 2011

I agree with Oakbear. Calm, rational talk is the best method for reaching an understanding. I hope you don't have to choose between a place to live and a modification.

But remember this. Each moment is a step along your path. Some steps are more significant than others, which is why we get modifications to commemorate them, but even the steps we see as tedious, boring, or downright forgettable are moments that shape who we are and how we grow. Just because you're not taking a particular step you would like to take doesn't mean you aren't still on the path. And while the anticipation of an important step can turn to bitter longing when it is delayed for too long, such a longing can be tolerated and even ignored when your survival is on the line.

Don't compromise more than you have to. Make an effort to explain the logic of your choice as you have here, but don't leave unless you're prepared to.

I think your mother will adjust in time and I hope you won't suffer too much drama. I'm sure your relationship with your mother will be unharmed in the long run, however it turns out.

Sometimes I wonder if I can say anything in less than a hundred words.
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