Son's first Piercing | Experiences | Forum
January 28, 2011
I'm not entirely sure where it makes the most sense to post this but here it goes.
For the last year and a half my son has been playing with my earrings. Always gently, putting them back as soon as he's asked, but at least once a week looking through the collection that hangs on my wall. Knowing my own story and how I insisted on getting my ears pierced at the age of two this got my attention, so I watched and listened.. and yes, i waited. People have been asking me almost since his birth whether I was going to get his ears pierced, I've always taken issue with the pronouns here, I wasn't going to do anything to his body until He decided. If he was going to get pierced it was going to be his decision. A little over two weeks ago it happened, my baby told me he wanted his ear pierced, almost everyone in my family (and most of the people he knows) has at least one earring so it's no big surprise. So we sat and had a nice conversation, about as coherent a conversation as a woman can expect to have with a 3 1/2 year old, I asked him if he wanted one ear pierced or both, he said one "like grampa", I told him it was going to hurt, he said o.k., I told him we'd have to clean it for a while and he said o.k. to that too. So I got in touch with a friend of mine who pierces and asked her if she would be willing to perform the piercing, she's an old friend (and part of CoBM) so i knew she'd understand how much it meant to me. I look at the type of decision he was making and see a whole different type of body awareness from the more attached sensibilities of being a baby or toddler, a type of awareness that simply cannot take place without some sense of ownership and individualization. we spent the next week having occasional conversations about it, checking that he hadn't changed his mind (as three year olds are wont) and that he understood it would hurt, he never faltered. I hate to gush, so i wont go into detail, i will say that the whole thing went amazingly well, with great guidance and competence on the part of my friend and admirable bravery and restraint on the part of my son.. yes, he bawled afterward, but he's three. It's all worth it for the almost immediate pride he took in his new earring, the fact that he spontaneously and entirely of his own accord ran out as our friends were leaving to thank his piercer for his earring, and more subtly the shift in his speech patterns from more occasional to almost exclusive use of the possessive when in refering to his body ("this ear" has become "my ear"). I have seen it in so many ways before, he is becoming his own person, but what i don't think I'd really reckoned until the day he made his choice was how he was making a choice that also made him more a part of something. If nothing else the show of support and the honored responses of the people who were present impressed that on me. and then he suckered people out of ice cream sandwiches and more lollipops than mommy generally allows still just a kid and loving it.
January 8, 2011
Firstly, I'd like to announce that I am honored to have been the person who pierced Sywen's son. It went amazingly well…
And now, to gush.
I have never seen more bravery, strength and restraint on the part of a piercee before. Yes, as Sywen mentioned, he cried, but again, as she said, he's three. However, even through his tears and belated protests(I no longer want it-type protests) he sat for the entire process. The transfer of jewelry, the screwing on of the ball… and didn't pull away, or attempt to stop me… He was patient through his pain in a way most adults aren't.
I think I will truly never forget this honor, this particular piercing was a perfect example of (in my mind) what CoBM stands for. I hope that her son will think of me in the future if and when he desires something else, but even if he doesn't, I hope he thinks of me in the future as the person who pierced his ear.
Just yesterday, I visited with Sywen and her son, and he bounced down the stairs, taking my hand and proudly proclaimed, "Faith, I like my earring!"
I couldn't be more proud of my "nephew".
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